We have all experienced a loss of one type or another . . . and most of the time people associate loss with death.

 

But loss can take many forms, and it can be immediate, as well as gradual. Loss can shape-shift, and there are times when situations and people appear to be a loss in life, when actually it is a morphing and a period of change, which in some sense remains a loss of the old.  

 

True loss, in any manner, hurts. There is no pain like the death of a loved one. I was told recently “it is that time”; and unfortunately, it is true.


 

Co-workers, family, friends . . . all relationships. The process of allowing someone access to you, in a manner which opens up you and a world of possibility and love, but also opens up vulnerability. Being brave enough to take the chance is to be heralded in my opinion. It is taking the chance you will lose that person; the loss of a valued individual is something that seems everyone has scars from. No one is immune, despite how much we prepare.
 

 

And each individual prepares for a loss in different ways: we build walls, we tear down walls, we change and meld and react, we have extensive counseling sessions, we numb-out or have enormous libraries of self-help literature, we eat, we drink, we smoke, or we blindly become Holly Golightlies. Each, in our own way, we build our armor, we sing our medicine songs for our hearts; hoping for the best and secretly preparing for the worst. 
 

 

It is during the best, that we forget to maintain the armor, and ever-so-subtly, walls break down, honesty emerges, and the warm enveloping sunshine of love shines through. One soul to another, truly respecting, cherishing and adoring the individual which whom we have connected. It makes it that much more excruciatingly painful then, if loss of that person occurs in some way.  


 

If we step back and take a moment to think about what the road brought, the journey is almost always remarkably fabulous. We learned things, about ourselves and the other person that we will carry in our hearts forever. Good things and bad things, motivation and inspiration on a myriad of levels. While we may still want those wonderful times back, and wish to regain them in some fashion, be it having one who passed be still alive, or remaining friends, or remaining in a relationship, the journey to the place you are right now in life has been set forth; it has many lessons that could not have been learned any other way. Loss truly teaches us great lessons, albeit excruciatingly difficult sometimes.   

 

And loss can bring motivation. Fear is said to be the stem root of anger; anger emerges when the fear is debilitating or threatening enough. I don’t know if I can attribute all anger to a fear base, but I can certainly see times when that is clearly the issue.

 

Some people simply cannot process an emotion as strong and as raw as fear, and thus need the guise of anger to move through it and continue forward in their lives.

 

 
 

I am currently writing about a process that is uplifting and encouraging, but the fact is there is a component which I did not realize. There are factors which show loss of information, the very forced extinction of information which has brought us to this point, which exits presently. I suppose this realization can be harnessed to be motivational, and it surely is . . . but the tragic reality remains, that genocidic assimilations have been effective on some issues.

 

I have been forced recently to reflect on my losses, and analyze what they have taught me; how some losses remain in my life, but my heart-armor is iron-clad regarding these specific instances, and I stand guard vigilantly. With good reason.

 

My heart will heal, as it has done thousands of times before, and I will be stronger from the experience. Fond memories will elicit smiles and laughter; but for now, things will remain. I will remain, heeding the signs, the guidance, I am given. Continuing forward.