Blue, Jeans . . . .

 

 

I sit here, conversing electronically with "bigwigs" . . . as I make my list to go get milk, and a new soccer ball . . . 

Topics are introduced, discussed, and options are laid out. My mind goes back to the store, and playing with my child.   

I feel my wings beginning to open; as when Eagle ever-so-slightly crouches, bringing up the shoulders of the majestic magical wings, right before gracefully springing into flight, soaring into the blue expansiveness.

Eagle alone determines its path; as do I at this point.

 

I find the contradiction ironic; sitting here in my preferred jeans with holes talking with ''the best of the best" . . . I feel as if I should be in pressed slacks and a jacket, or a skirt; maybe even jeans without holes at the very least . . .  there are plenty of other jeans hanging in the closet, untattered, yet these are what fit me best; not only physically, but perhaps emotionally - if jeans have that ability. They are worn, they show the love that has been brought, and the love which has been expended . . . the hard work that has been done to bring them to the point they are at . . . complete, comfortable, unpretentious.

           

I have worked hard, met many people, and the discussion amongst the "dream team" doesn't faze me, although I am told (by outsiders) it should. They have a plan for me, and I am eager and ready.

Bill Cosby told me if I ever needed anything to give him a call. Well Bill, here's what I need:

I need faith, unwavering.

I need love; kind, caring, genuine.

I need honesty and truth.

I need positive people around me who are not looking to climb; off my back, off my work, off my name.

I need friends, who are real and true and know the power of a true friendship that will last a lifetime.

I need to know how to date, after finding what I want, only to have it restricted, limited, and unavailable.  

I need more time in the day, a quart of milk, and a soccer ball.

 

My mind wanders to what we get to play today, and how I can get things done faster to make time for the love of my life, whose very presence keeps me grounded and pushing, harder, faster, longer. "Be better for this little soul; give opportunities that none other can offer – be the hero to show it can be done; survive, thrive . . . finally live"  it screams.

            I am hunching down, almost ready to spring off into the blue . . . .

Seattle? I love the Space Needle, and Pikes Place with the flying fish . . .  Boston? I loved the shoreline, and the nice people . . . New Hampshire? I never did get to see a moose up close amongst the beautiful views . . . Montana? Riding quads around the base of the Rockies was breathtaking . . . Texas? Grandma swears Llano is one of the prettiest places on earth . . .   

I think blue must represent possibility and opportunity, rather than calmness and clarity . . .

And I refocus, answering an email, listening to voice messages; finally knowing what they already knew, so eager to be on my committee, convincing me, academically wooing me . . .  

I am ready.

Charles is right, I am on my way.  

Wearing my jeans.